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Captains Log, Stardate 9986.104, "Sentient Meat" by Terry Bisson
For full version see: http://www.terrybisson.com/meat.html
"There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."
"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."
"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made machines."
"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in the sector and they're made out of meat."
"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take too long".
"Nope. We thought of that, they're meat all the way through."
"Oh, there is a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat!"
"You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The meat."
"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?"
"Finally, Yes. They are indeed made out meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."
"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information. The usual."
"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio.
"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
"I thought you just told me they used radio."
"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"
"I was hoping you would say that."
"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say?" `Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"
"So we just pretend there's no one home in the universe."
"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed? You're sure they won't remember?"
"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."
"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"